This is somewhat of a Christian oxymoron. We are told we can not and will never be perfect, and that is why we need Jesus. By his death and God's Grace we are forgiven, accepted and 'made perfect in him'. BUT we are also told that we still need to strive to be better. eg Corinthians 9:24 we are to "run in in such a way as to win the prize." Meaning that while we don't have to win/be perfect we should still try to win/be perfect. It's our attitude that is what counts.
So I am often reaching towards this goal, and always fail, then rest (forget about it for a while), then try again ect... Sometimes my run ends the same day I start it, and occasionally it goes on for months...
BODY: I will keep to my fitness program and not eat any rubbish food ect...
MIND: I will be friendlier towards people and not waste all my time downloading/watching rubbish TV ect...
SOUL: I will read my Bible and not contemplate negative/rubbish thoughts about people in my mind ect...
It's Sunday Midnight and I am off and running... yee harr !
Monday night Update:
Well, I didn’t sleep so good last night, woke up a few times then had this dream…
It was medieval times and I was the King of the land. I was the King because I was super powered and undefeatable in battle. Now the evil villain of the land sent a large black dragon to attack me in a field. All the people of the land gathered round to watch and I faced off against the dragon with arrogance. After all, I could not be defeated! As I swung my chain and ball around, I walked towards the dragon but was suddenly surprised. Just then I realized there was someone behind me, and that the dragon was a distraction to trick me. Before I could turn I was whacked on the back of the head and blacked out. While I was in a coma the villain cut me open and removed my appendix, as it was well known that this was the source of my power…
400 years later I woke up in the modern world, I was forgotten part of history. I was very weak but as I stood up a powerful man greeted me. He was the world’s best warrior, trained for this moment, to be my guide. I knew I had to find and defeat the evil villain, who had ruled the land since my demise, but did not know where to find him. The warrior said he knew of a building that contained a computer file with the villain’s location, so off we went. The tall corporate building was surrounded by beautiful landscaped moat. We swam through it around to the rear of the building and followed someone in the back door, just before it shut. Inside was a steam room full of corporate executives, relaxing in their towels. Just as we started up the stairs someone shouted ‘intruders!’ They all jumped up to grab us as we ran up the stairs and into the next room. We ran down the hall as ‘suits’ (immaculate grey suited employees) jumped out to grab us, but the warrior took them down, hard, and we ran on. Caught in a dead end room we climbed out the window and shimmied across the ledge to the next room, which was empty. We logged on and got the address for the villain. We burst out of the room and there were a plethora of enemies there, waiting. The fighting got intense, but I was feeling much stronger and took on a few of the baddies myself. I smiled, as I knew my real power had not come from my appendix but from my inner confidence and strength, which was returning. They started pulling out grey relay batons and throwing them at us. Dodging, twisting, diving, I avoided the batons as we made our way to the exit, and the warrior dashed through. A step behind I was about to follow when one of them pulled out a police badge and yelled stop. I had no intention of complying but our gaze locked and in that instant I knew he recognized me as that King, from so long ago. I couldn’t allow him to remain there, as he would alert the villain of my presence. I decided to destroy him, to keep him quiet, but first I gave him a chance. “You know who I am. Join me.” In just that moment he weighed up his options then nodded, yes. Together dashed through the exit door… then I woke up.
Not feeling so great I lay straight down on my bench press and worked out. I matched my bench record from last week, but didn’t beat it so felt a bit better but still pretty shabby. Rode to work and started dialing. An average day then rode home again that night. As I rode home in the biting cold I thought about the day and realized that I hadn’t mucked up my ‘perfect run’ yet. Pushing myself harder and harder I started to feel quite good. Towards the end of the ride I out rode a tram on the flat straight and got home in 50 minutes, 10 minutes off my previous record. Suddenly I was on top of the world and feeling fantastic! When I got up to the apartment one of my brother’s friends said he had put a plate of the best selected food, from the party that was going on, in the fridge for me. I thanked him and had a look. ‘Nice try…Satan’ I thought. Tempting me with the best rubbish food, on this evening of the first day of my run. ‘But I am fasting today to help kick start the run’ and I smiled, and walked away.
Friday night - the Wrap Up:
Well, it was a tough run, now at an end, it all came down to a small piece of cake this afternoon…
The whole week was a great struggle of temptations and difficulties. One morning I was so emotionally very low I nearly drove into work, but at the last second I decided I would not be defeated and hopped on my bike. Also mid week my desk buddy handed me one of a number of tickets, her mum had given her, to VIP party at a well-known Melbourne Strip club! I laughed out loud, as only during this week with my ‘publicish run’ could such an improbable ridiculosity happen. But this afternoon I had a farewell for a work friend and there was some rubbish food on the table; I really didn’t think about it other than ‘why shouldn’t I be able to celebrate a bit with my friends…’ and I ate a piece of the cake. It wasn’t anything good but you know, so what, and I went back to work.
Riding home that night it popped back in my mind and I started to argue with my self if it really counted as a black mark against the run. I decided it did. Soon after my riding slowed until I was barely putting in the effort to move the pedals and I felt completely exhausted. I realised it was not my physical body that was tired, but it was my spirit that was drained and I started to get depressed. Distracted in my thoughts I had a few more ‘close calls’ with other cars than normal but made it home just as it got dark. Oh my brother is playing two different stereos, with different songs, simultaneously at maximum volume. Good one!
I turned off the lights and sat in the shower, soaking in the solitude, darkness and roar of the water beating down on my shoulders. I didn’t feel like giving up and having a rest. More like I had just got a foot stuck in the mud. My journey needed to continue, I had planned to ride out to Ringwood tomorrow, but it all seemed so far away now. Have you ever been lost in your thoughts at a train station, only to look up and see the train you were waiting for is just departing?
After a time I dressed and walked down to the supermarket and bought a big piece of fish, which I grilled washed down with a Vodka and Orange while watching Big Brother Friday night games…(No, don’t go there.)
Later...Back on the net, I have been thinking about some very real and important Christian issues, and working them through in my mind has helped me begin to feel better.
I think tomorrow after I wake up, I may even feel refreshed…Saturday Supplemental:
Well I couldn't get to sleep Friday night, realizing that I hadn't mentioned anything positive from the week, like: reading more of my Bible, increasing my fitness efforts, developing new friendships and being a lot more open and friendly with my supervisor. Great! So I jumped out of bed and switched my computer back on, thinking 'I can't let Satan have a perceived win, which he hadn't... So just as I was thinking that and typing my positive things into the blog, bang, the lights went out, the computer powered down, and everything went pitch black. I panicked. Terrified he was just about to appear again in my bedroom, I stumbled, fumbled, for the light switch and flicked it on... Ok, it was just a power surge, but a spiritually suspicious one... Booted up the computer again but couldn't get the net. Went downstairs and found everything working but the server, which was fried... So had to go back to bed with no positive update and a little peeved. But today I felt good and did my ride to Ringwood and ended up haveing a really great day with friends and family. So there!
5 comments:
As I read, I felt like I'd dreamed the same dream. Then I realised it's just that, like you, I've watched a lot of movies. Do you think your dream has meaning? Or is it just your mind reordering old thoughts and memories?
Oh, and what do you class as "rubbish" TV? Because you do know that the new Big Brother has just started, don't you?
Dreams: While I never had much meaning out of my dreams in the past, the last 6 months of dreams have had a lot of correlation with stuff happening in my life. With this dream the story of feeling weak, strong in the past, and now getting stronger as I take on a fight against evil, matches my experience in life that following day, which is why I told the story. I thought about highlighting the 'I smiled' bits to show the parrallel of realising of inner strength and confidence returning... but I forget sometimes that other people don't think exactly like I do.
Rubbish TV: That is in response to me realising that as I had downloaded and watched the complete seasons of 'My name is Earl' and 'Stargate Atlantis S2' all in one weekend, that I might have a problem there...
Maybe that I put a blog together about pictures of women inbetween watching the TV eps, could be my subconscious suggesting I should be focused on 'other' priorities... LOL.
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